Maybe it's because I constantly find myself in uncomfortable, early morning situations. Like last month, when in the pre-dawn gray, I stood up to refill my coffee cup and loudly conked my head on a very low-hanging pendant lamp that was positioned perfectly at a mere 18" above my two-top. All of the other breakfasters turned as one to see the commotion. A woman seated directly in front of me lowered her Bible and broke out laughing. Moments later she appeared table-side and apologized. "Once I saw you were OK, it was just funny to me." I said not to worry as I patted the top of my head and then was a little taken aback to see a small drop of blood on my palm.
However, my distaste for the scene runs deeper than just this. I can't get the toaster to work. I can't figure out how to spin the fruit bowl cover thing. I burn stuff. I don't need a whole carton of milk for a single bowl of cereal. I don't like people who stand in front of where I need to be and just stand there. I don't like to talk to people early in the morning. I don't like people who pour a cup of coffee and then commandeer the entire coffee area while they concoct their delicate balance of cream and sugar.
Just last Friday, a gentleman saw my Grey Seal Puppets t-shirt while I was trying desperately to get two pieces of wheat to stay DOWN in the toaster and he loudly proclaimed that he thought I dated his ex-wife in 1982. The hotel clerk stopped checking someone out and started checking us out. GET ME OUT OF HERE!
So when Saturday morning rolled around I found the breakfast bar to be a real train wreck. A bus full of middle-schoolers had joined us at the hotel the night before and it was game on this morning. So, I jetted past the breakfast bar, into my truck and headed straight to a nearby . . . .Denny's.
Saturday morning breakfast places are a crap shoot for sure. Always too busy, sometimes smoky, sometimes just bad.
But not this Denny's. You could tell upon entry that this place had it going on. Quick, efficient, not too crowded. The host quickly led me to a nice booth. We hurried past a middle aged lawyer-looking guy who woke up that morning and decided to say good bye to his legal world for the weekend and dress in camo cargo shorts and a "I'm a Legend in Japan" t-shirt. He was diving into a perfect stack of pancakes as his pretty companion stared forlornly out the window.
Before I knew it I had a mushroom and Swiss eggwhite omelet with above-average grits and fresh sourdough toast right in front of me. It was a great breakfast with a great server in a great place. The only momentary hiccup was when the kid across from me began slamming his body into his chairback as his father obliviously ate his waffle. Not to worry, after the 4th or 5th time, the older man who was receiving the body blows on the other side of the chairback growled "cut it out" without even lowering his News and Observer as his wife pursed her lips and all was calm again.
When I'm on the road performing, I like to start the day with a good breakfast and today Denny's came through. I strolled out into the bright Carolina sunshine, past a mini-van with a "Synthesizers are Musical Instruments too" bumper sticker and into my truck. I pointed my bow towards the Southeast and took off for Fayetteville and a performance at the Museum of Art.
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